the desire to fire method
Program Application
For women in great relationships who are tired of feeling like sex is a chore
If you're here, you probably feel like something’s wrong with you
and you’ve been researching this problem for months. Maybe years.
You've tried the toys. Saved the insta posts about 'reigniting desire.' Bookmarked the podcasts on ‘relationship tips.’ Maybe even bought a few books that are still sitting unread on your nightstand.
But here's what's happening during this research phase: You're still not having fun during sex so your nervous system is getting really good at associating sex with stress, obligation, and expectation.
Every time sex feels like a chore, it reinforces what your body already believes: that sex feels like a LOT of work right now.
These patterns don't just stay steady, they get stronger and stronger.
Every time you do it to 'reset the clock,' your nervous system gets more evidence that sex = obligation.
Every time you just go through the motions, you’re teaching it you don’t deserve pleasure.
If you're still hoping this resolves on its own, this probably isn't for you.
But if you're finally ready to address what's actually happening, I need to tell you something important:
Your sex drive isn’t the problem. It’s there, but it’s been hijacked by your nervous system. And most traditional approaches make it WAY worse by focusing on the wrong things.
The Truth About Low Desire
No One's Telling You
Think of your sex drive like a car. Your libido isn't broken and your engine is actually running perfectly.
But your brakes are stuck on.
Because once sex is stressful instead of fun, your nervous system pushes on the wrong pedal. Instead of pushing on the gas when you try to have sex, it slams on the brakes and says "No way, not today!"
And traditional approaches make this worse because they focus on the gas pedal: more effort, different positions, new toys. But when your brakes are stuck, pushing harder on the gas just spins your wheels.
Here's what I see happening with women who keep using gas pedal strategies:
They spend another year trying things that don't address the real issue. Another year feeling like roommates. Another year feeling that tension grow because their partners are tired of feeling rejected and they're tired of feeling responsible.
Not because their sex drive has somehow died or they're in doomed relationships. But because they're working on the wrong problem.
The couples who solve this? They stop trying to just lay on the gas and start addressing what's actually stuck.
But most approaches won't tell you this because they don’t understand how women’s arousal actually works or how the nervous system hijacks it.
That's exactly what we're going to dive into so you get lasting results.
Why is Desire to Fire different?…
I'm Erinn, and I've been exactly where you are.
I know the shame of feeling broken while everyone else seems to have this figured out. How lost and hopeless you feel when you try something new and it fails... again.
I know what it's like to abandon yourself
To say yes because you feel SO guilty and you just want to keep the peace.
I also know the terror of watching your partner slowly stop trying
Remember when they used to grab your butt all playful in the kitchen? Or tell you how sexy you are? But now there's just awkward distance and lack of affection because everyone feels like they’re walking on eggshells.
You can feel them pulling away, and there's that terrifying thought that says, "What if they just... give up? And it’s like this forever…"
And this doesn't just stay in the bedroom
It's with you at work, when you meet up with friends, go on vacation. You're walking around wearing this mask and pretending you're not carrying this massive secret and feeling broken.
I see you. I was you. And I'm here to tell you something:
This nightmare has an ending
There's nothing wrong with you. You're not the exception. This absolutely can change. But you need to act before it gets worse.
After years of research and working with hundreds of women, I developed my DTF Method, but it originally came about because I needed it:
A nervous system-based approach that addresses what's actually happening in your body, not just symptoms.
So you can finally stop dreading sex and start looking forward to it again.
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Sex felt like a chore
I felt like I was the problem in my relationship. Sex felt like a chore so I'd do it just to shut him up, even though I know he just wanted to connect. But I didn’t understand why this felt like so much work so I’d just go through the motions, but then feel gross and used, and felt super alone because he didn’t even know what was going on with me.
- Rachel
Everything I tried made it worse
I want to want it so badly, but it felt like everything I tried made it worse. I was so tired of disappointing my husband but was terrified to admit how bad this really was, because I felt like I was lying because I was ashamed. But the more I read about this stuff, the more frustrated I got because I still don't know what to DO with any of it.
- Michelle
What's wrong with me??
I tried therapy, which helped some things, but we never really addressed the sex piece so I had no direction with THIS. And my husband kept asking what's going on and how he can help, but I don't know what to tell him. If I understood what would help, I would’ve done it already! I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.
- Nikki
Because here's what I know's possible for you:
What if you woke up tomorrow actually wanting to be touched instead of tensing up?
What if you could kiss and cuddle without worrying it might lead to more?
What if you felt confident in your own skin instead of hiding under the covers or baggy clothes?
What if you looked forward to sex because it was actually fun for you and worth looking forward to?
But here's what concerns me:
Yes, these changes are absolutely possible, but every day they stay just a daydream, your nervous system practices the opposite: reinforcing disconnection and shutting down sex drive.
The women who send me transformation messages like below? They stopped waiting for the ‘right time’ because they realized the ‘right time’ never comes and patterns just get stronger.
And they realize this is about SO much more than sex.
It's about reclaiming your relationship. Trusting yourself to go after what you want. Unlocking that deep, primal part of you who unapologetically feels pleasure and joy.
But transformation requires decision and timing matters.
You can keep hoping this fixes itself, or you can take the first step toward becoming the woman in these testimonials.
The choice is yours.
I'm finally horny again
I feel horny again! This is even becoming my new normal which I’m so pumped about. But more than that, we have way less fights and I feel like he finally gets what’s going on with me. The exercises have been perfect because he’s actually helping out, we’re having fun with them, and it’s making it way less of a chore. No wonder I’m horny again ;)
– Amanda
We're back on the same page
The desire is back and I actually want it now! I even initiate. We're not just roommates anymore because I actually want to hug and kiss him now. It's amazing how much we can connect when I'm not constantly putting my walls up. We’re finally back on the same page and it feels incredible.
- Lisa
I finally feel authentic
I never realized how much I was self-abandoning and building back trust in myself has been SO huge. I'm not overthinking anymore and feel so much more authentic and can finally be honest about what I need. And he’s knows how to step in to help with that now. It felt like we were battling each other with this in the past but now I feel like he’s my teammate again.
-Maria
And plot twist: This isn’t just your problem to fix
Here's the reality: Most partners are initially resistant of this program because they don't understand this is a medical issue, not a motivation problem.
But after working with hundreds of couples, I’ve learned that the partners who resist getting involved? Their relationships stay stuck in the same patterns, or get worse.
Because sex is a shared experience. I can't teach you to unlock your arousal if your partner keeps triggering your nervous system to shut down.
The good news? Once partners understand this is healthcare for your sexual wellness (just like physical therapy), they stop taking your responses so personally and start being part of the solution.
They're usually relieved to finally have actual strategies instead of just hoping things improve.
But I need to be direct with you: If your partner thinks this is your problem to fix alone and isn't willing to step in, this program isn't right for you.
Because the women who get the best results have partners who are willing to participate in exercises and conversations.
Not because they're perfect partners, but because they want the relationship to work and want to be a team in this.
Why I Can Help You When Others Can’t
Most approaches fail because they're designed by people who've never actually lived this.
But I've been exactly where you are.
I know what it feels like to try everything that was "supposed to" work and feel more hopeless with each failure. The terror that you might be broken beyond repair. The crushing fear that your relationship won't survive this.
But most providers focus on motivation when the issue is biological.
They'll teach you communication techniques when your nervous system is stuck in overdrive. Suggest scheduling sex when your nervous system has hijacked your libido.
They'll focus on your relationship when the issue is your biology, which is why things keep getting worse instead of better.
After a decade as a trained sex therapist who also lived this nightmare, I developed the DTF Method because I realized everything else was backwards.
The women who succeed with this method? They stop working with providers who treat this like a relationship issue and start addressing what's actually happening in their bodies.
This program works best for women who:
Are in committed, healthy relationships with partners willing to participate
Recognize this affects more than just their sex life
Can commit 15 mins daily to their transformation
Want to FIX this, not just manage it forever
If you're still hoping this resolves on its own, or your partner isn't on board to get involved, this isn't the right fit.
FAQ
Questions I Know You're
Going To Ask...
How is this different from everything else I’ve tried?
Everything else focuses on trying harder while your nervous system is stuck in overdrive. This method addresses what's actually blocking desire so it can flow more naturally again.
It’s built for long-term sustainability, not quick fixes, so you can actually fix this problem and have the skills moving forward to handle the ebbs and flows.
How do I know this will work for me?
Look, I get it. You've probably tried a bunch of things that didn't work, so you’re worried this won’t be different.
Here's the thing: if you're dreading sex, if your nervous system is stuck with the brakes on, and if you have a partner willing to do this with you, then you're exactly who this was designed for.
The women who don't see results either have partners who refuse to participate, or they're still in research mode instead of implementation mode. If you're here filling out this application, you're already proving you're different.
What if my partner isn't supportive?
I'm going to be straight with you: If your partner isn't willing to work on this with you or thinks this is your problem to fix, this program isn’t for you.
Sexual intimacy is co-created. I can't teach you to want sex if your partner is still doing things that trigger your nervous system to shut it down.
Most partners who seem 'unsupportive' are actually scared, confused, or feeling rejected. Once they understand there are actual strategies they can use to help, they usually become your biggest supporters. But if your partner truly refuses to participate, staying stuck is guaranteed.
Why is the program only open every couple months? What happens if I want to start now?
I only accept 5 new women per cohort because real transformation requires deep, personalized attention.
If you're reading this, enrollment is currently open, but spots usually fill up within days once I start reviewing applications. In every cohort, women tell me "I wish I'd applied six months ago" because while they were stuck deciding and oscillating, their patterns got stronger.
The women who are truly ready don't wait for "perfect timing." If you're an exceptional fit and ready to start immediately, early access may be available before doors officially open.
This Application Is Your First Step
You're about to take the same step hundreds of women took before transforming their relationships and unlocking a whole new level of pleasure they didn't know was possible.
The women who get the best results? They still have doubts and worry this won't work.
But they apply anyway because they're tired of dreading sex, rejecting their partners, and they want to 'get it.'
They don't wait to feel 100% ready, because they know that time never comes.
What Happens Next:
Applications are reviewed within 3 business days
Only 5 women are accepted from 50+ applications for each cohort
If selected, you'll receive next steps immediately
This enrollment closes when spots are filled (typically within days)
Ready to transform your love life and relationship for good in Desire to Fire?
Your sex drive isn't broken. Your relationship isn't doomed. You're not the exception to the rule.
Your nervous system needs soothing so your desire can turn back on. That's exactly what this program does.
But transformation does require decision.
Ready isn't a feeling, it's a decision.
Every day you wait is another day these patterns get stronger. Another day your body gets better at shutting down and worse at opening up. Another day you both learn distance is the new normal.
The women in those testimonials? They stopped researching and started transforming.
Your turn.
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